Small Talk: Desperate Students

"Warning: Earthquake Coming!" Jamie yells out
rushing into her dorm room. Jessica says
"Are you seeing more missing cats & dogs
in the classifieds? Pets sense it before we do."
No, it's in Cosmo— "Turn your man into
a sex-pleasing genius! Foreplay ideas almost
too risqué to share plus Yummy guy eye
candy inside! and the SEX he'll die for!"

"Oh, tell me about it— I still don't have a date
for the Prom" sighs Jessica. "Why not ask that
cute guy in your Psych class? He'll go with you."
In fact, here's what Jo Jo advises in Seventeen:
"Girls should absolutely ask guys to the Prom!"
Sujatha walks in to see her friends in frenzy,
fashion magazines covering both beds & floor.
They ask her who's taking her to the Prom.

"Oh, Sanjiv— he asked me months ago."
Did you lure him with the Sensual Spice
lip gloss and the Star Kissed nail polish?
"It's what the Dalai Lama lectured last year—
to practice forgiveness, patience, tolerance,
compassion and self-discipline." Jamie flips
to Elle's 240+ ideas to update your look.
Lucky's how to look good in everything.

Jessica points to Vogue's ultimate dress
for seduction, how to boost your libido in
Shape, men's secret desires in Redbook,
and the 30-second hairstyle tricks in Allure.
Sujatha tells them what her granny told her
that pain comes from selfish cravings while
joy from selflessness and helping others.
Jamie asks if that's how she got her date.

"I met Sanjiv while volunteering at the Hospice
Home— Didn't know he was a student here,
and we've been good friends ever since."
Jessica couldn't take her eyes off the pages
on getting the body you want from In Style,
the Hot Sex Guide in Marie Claire, and
why Demi Moore never ages in Vanity Fair.
Sujatha makes a final plea to her friends:

"These magazines at supermarket checkouts
pander to unfulfilled women in want of love
with new formulas offered every month,
but all their recipes just don't work.
Instead of teaching you how to fish
they want you to buy theirs at the market
for why reveal the real recipe for bliss
when false promises lure you to come back."

               — Peter Y. Chou
                    Mountain View, 1-29-2007
                    Revised, 4-6-2007

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© Peter Y. Chou,
P.O. Box 390707, Mountain View, CA 94039
email: (4-6-2007)